When I worked as an entertainment production manager, my internal motto was "Sure $25 isn't important, unless it is my $25." People who sell stuff (and offer jobs) like to perpetuate the myth that negotiating is déclassé. I learned to negotiate when, an early teen, I watched my dad buy a car, and instinctively realized that he was overpaying. From 15 to 20, I bought all the cars in my family. My essential approach to negotiating is that you should never try to think for the other side. That is on them. They know what they need from a deal. When they start explaining to you what they need from a deal, they are, in all likelihood, lying. Once you start considering factors outside of the deal, you have lost. Informed H.R. managers know that employees who aren't getting what they think they are worth are unhappy employees. Those managers will know how to value talent and decide where to draw the line. They will not try to convince someone to take a job beneath their self-value, because they understand that, while it might look good on paper, it won't end well. I have no idea if there is a gender gap in negotiating. If there is, lets kill it. Maybe we should start negotiate4lib. Cary On Wed, Dec 19, 2012 at 1:11 PM, Shaun Ellis <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > In light of the recent discussions here, I thought many would find this > article interesting: > > "How to Attack the Gender Wage Gap? Speak Up" > http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/business/to-solve-the-gender-wage-gap-learn-to-speak-up.html > > The gist of the article is in this quote: "But one part of it can be traced > to a simple fact: many women just don’t negotiate, or are penalized if they > do." > > I have actually been reading Stuart Diamond's book on negotiating, titled > "Getting More". In it he points out that there are lots of different > negotiation styles, and that some are more effective than others. It's > pretty eye opening for me, who hasn't had any formal training in > negotiation. The biggest a-ha for me was that "everything is negotiable", > despite the cliche. Practicing the techniques in every situation in life > (from getting into an overcrowded restaurant without a reservation to asking > your boss for a raise) is the way to get better at it, and I have to say > that I'm starting to ask more and am pleasantly surprised by the results. > [Adding to GoodReads now ...] > > Cheers, > Shaun -- Cary Gordon The Cherry Hill Company http://chillco.com